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Most of us, when we were younger, look forward to parenting as a way to make our life happier and more meaningful. However, research says otherwise. The most remarkable details that were believed to have strong proof of this fact was a study done by Daniel Kahneman, an award-winning behavioral economist who discovered that caring for children ranked at number 16 out of the 19 gratifying activities that a family can do to establish a stronger connection; proving that much more is required than just buying toys. This data also supports research done on relationships, where it stated that having children eventually decreases marital gratification.
Andrew Oswald, another economist, also did a thorough study on thousands of British couples. The study showed that the more kids one has, the satisfied and happy you become. Consequently, more and more studies have revealed that mothers are less happy compared to the fathers, that even the single parents are not happy still, that toddlers and infants are the toughest to handle, and that each next child conceived results in more negative results. Additionally, more than 50% of misunderstandings from married couples or live-in partners are related to the children.
Financial insecurity can overwhelm other aspects of the relationship. Typically, each couple has their own pattern of unresolved arguments regarding finances. — Sarah E. Clark, LMFT, LMHC, CVRT
Now, those words make us parents (dads like me, for that matter) shocked, but honestly, guilty at the same time. Because let’s face it, we do feel that the facts stated are true yet we try to push them away from our thoughts. I, for one, would like to feel happier, satisfied, and grateful for having kids. How? What do I need to do so I don’t feel the regret and exhaustion that I often feel?
Someone said, “Maybe if one puts the family’s happiness first before his own happiness, only then will he achieve a more joyful and meaningful kind of life.”
Let me ask you today – father to father – are you a happier man now that you have kids? Or are you ruminating on leaving them and their mother because you just can’t take the pressure and the unhappiness?
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In reality, your sadness, anxiety, and depression will INCREASE should you decide to leave your family. The best way to be happier is to find better ways to make use of your blessings as a father, a husband, and a family man. Here’s how.
Work-related Things Should Be Left In The Workplace
When you’re done with work and finished all deadlines for the day, get out of the workplace and consider your remaining hours for the family. When you enter the door of your home, greet your wife with a kiss and your kids with warm hugs. Sit on the couch with them, listen to each of their stories, and tell them your day as well. You can also help your wife prepare for dinner.
Don’t Forget To Take Care Of Your Body
If moms are reminded to take care of themselves amidst all her responsibilities as a wife and mother, so should the men. Never finish the week without spending three or four days walking, jogging, or working out. Staying fit physically also keeps your mental and emotional well being at bay. You don’t have to have a strict regimen. You just need to sweat it out for at least 30 minutes, enough to produce cardiovascular benefits.
Higher-functioning couples think of their money and resources as joint assets. Whatever money comes into the family is shared, and it’s pooled into a single source. — Lynne Silva-Breen, MDiv, MA, LMFT
Read Each Of Your Family Member’s Language Of Love And Practice It
Each child has a unique way of showing and accepting love from you. Your little girl might love the cuddles, while your older boy only wishes to do some hobbies with you, so understand each of their languages. You must also know how to make your wife happy, even with the simplest things, like bringing her some flowers once in a while, or taking her to a snack so she can have a breather from all her chores. Remember the saying, “A happy wife makes a happy life.”
Plan A Major Vacation Every Year
This one has done so many good things for a lot of families. Going on a trip out of the state or just to camp out in a nearby destination if you’re on a budget would be a great time to bond, reconnect, heal, and strengthen family relationships. Taking a few days off work is probably one of the best gifts you can give to your wife and children – focusing on them and spending quality time with them (read further here: https://www.familyhype.com/children/childrens-products/toys/dolls/where-can-you-get-a-baby-doll-that-look-like-your-child.html). It doesn’t have to be expensive. It only has to be worthwhile.
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Do Something For The Community Together As A Family
Participating in community activities is one way of teaching your children to be involved, to be assertive, and to do good for others. It is also one of the easiest ways to learn how to socialize, so you don’t have to bring them to big parties to know how to meet and greet. Volunteer to join a soup kitchen, for instance, where you and the whole family can cook and serve the seniors or the war veterans and show appreciation for what they’ve done for the country. This will instill humility for each one of the family members, including you.
With true commitment and time spent making some changes, you can absolutely improve your money management skills and protect the longevity of your relationships all at once. — Seth Meyers Psy.D.
Conclusion
Always remember that a family is a gift that should be treasured, no matter the struggles. Just thinking about it being a blessing has ultimately made me feel better as a father, a husband, and a man. Never get tired of doing your best for your family.